Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My 3rd trip and longest stay in UK

I am back in London for the third time since my wife passed away in Jan last year.
Arrived here on the 24th March, evening.
I was here in July last year for about 15 days for my docdoter convocation in Liecester, together with my eldestbdoter and secondson.
I came again and stayed for two months in late Sept to Nov 2012 to see my youngestdoter who arrived in late August to do her ACCA in Birmingham. She will finish off in June and I hope to go back together with her.God willing.

This time around will be my longest stay..3 months at least .
I hope I can survive and my finances will hold....

Monday, January 14, 2013

A year has gone by...


Last Saturday 12 Jan 2013 marks a year in passing
of my beloved wife Hajjah Roshitoh binti Mustafa.
She left us on a Thursday morning at about 0740 hrs.
All my children less the fourth girl Azhreen was in Leicester, when she breathe her last breath.
Azhreen arrived back the next morning.
My son Azhran was feeding her sips of water till the last moment.
We knew that she was leaving us and she too knew it.
She was telling us on what to expect next, even when she would not be able to say anything.
I remember every moment of her last days and i was lucky i was around beside her.
My children too, dotted on her with the utmost devotions and my eldest girl Aerianee did the final bath on her together with the youngest Aereena.
She had been dutifully doing that when Tah did not have the energy to do it in her dying days. Well, Nanee is truly blessed because she had that opportunity.

We laid her to rest at Presint 20 Cemetery after Zohor prayers at Mesjid Putra.
I was lucky because i managed to organise a complete 7 nights Tahlil at my surau and the 100 days too.
At random in the year i did organise a few Tahlil for her, because she did request me to do it for her when she is gone.
Last Friday night 11 Jan 2013, i managed to organise a Tahlil for her and about 90 friends and family attended.
As i promised her, i will keep on organising a Tahlil in future as and when it is convenient.

Loosing a wife is not an easy matter.
Living without her too is not easy.
She took care of me for more than 30 over years.
I knew her since i was in Primary One and have set my eyes ever since then.
There is no way i can overcome all the memories of her...she was and will always be a part of me.
Now after every prayers without fail i will doa for her.
At every moment i keep on thinking of her.
Yes, many will say that Life has to move on...
Well...it is easier said than done......
Now i have my children to look forward too....
i know that they too have not overcome their grief.....
In my prayers, i pray that Allah Taala knows what is best for my future.
I know that i am being tested....I am just a humble servant..
What choice do i have...i just have to live with it...
My life is too short to object the challenges.....
When my wife was around...nothing bothers me.....she was always there...
Now....i can only hope and pray that i can cope up with the future...



Thursday, March 08, 2012

56 Years ago


Roshitoh Mustafa.
Born 8 March 1956.
Died 12 January 2012.(Thursday)
She left us 56 days ago before her 56th Birthday(Thursday)
Al Fatihah

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Ramadan in Hospital

Many things happened since my last posting.
Too many to list down here.
Today is my 9th day of breaking the fast in a hospital,HUKM.
Alhamdullilah i am in the best of health as i normally am,in the month of Ramadan.
My other half is a bit down and was admitted on the first day of Ramadan.
Her new chemo regimentation, which started two weeks before Ramadan took it's toll and she needed blood transfusion
and her fever was on and off. To top it all,her throat was sore, and she could not even swallow drops of water.
Today ,she is a bit better and can manage to eat bits of food with ease.
Anyway,she is very restless and wanted to go home.
The doctors at the Oncology Ward,is holding her for another day or two,just to be sure that her blood is ok..

I did not enquire much in details as to the medical specifications of her current ailment.
As to my understanding,the cancer is affecting her bone marrow, or something to do with her blood getting lower every 2-3 months.
Henced the Oncologist, has prescribed 18 cycles of chemotheraphy,with one every week.
She managed two cycles only.
Not sure whether the balance will be carried out..they are still thinking..hopefully.
I leave it to them to do the thinking besides leaving it to the will of Allah Taala.
I can only pray.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

A Doctor in the making

Early this morning, or rather past midnight, my daughter called from Leicester
with the good news that she has passed her 4th year exams and will proceed to her final year.We have been praying hard for this and Alhamdulillah it is now a reality.

There was never a moment that i have doubted her capabilities and i have always known that she will do well.

I am just putting on record here my feeling of gratitude and appreciation of her great efforts in achieving her aim to become a doctor.

I pray and hope that by next year, she will graduate and do her bit for mankind.

So we will wait another year till we can call her Dr Azhreen Fuad.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Reaching 55




Today, 8th March my wife turns 55.
Happy Birthday Tah.
Since the pensionable age has been extended to 58, she is still working.
Since she is a Govt servant, she does not have the occasion and excitement of drawing out her EPF.
Since past midnight last night our children has called her on the phone with a few unanswered, since she was asleep by then.
My daughter in Leicester was wise enough to call her this morning with her wishes. Anyway, she calls home every day.

There is no plans today for a family celebration, maybe this weekend when everybody is home.
However i have taken the day off and so has she, just to remember the day.
We might just go out for lunch.
In a way, spending one's birthday quietly seems a splendid way to look back at the years that has gone by.

Wow, 55 years, and it seems like yesterday.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

So Many Thoughts



Age of Innocence when i had 'No Thoughts' and Present Age when there are 'So Many Thoughts"





Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah Hiwabarakatuh.

Since my last posting at the beginning of the year,
so many thoughts have passed my mind.
To claim that i have been busy, might be an understatement.
After my blessed Hajj, i am still trying to live the life of a Hajj recipient.
As i had thought earlier, it is not easy to be one, being a Hajj that is.

Performing the Hajj was a breeze for me and i enjoyed every minute of it.
I promised that i will write about it, but for the want of not being 'takbur' i decided not to.
There were many moments and incidents that would be a great story to tell, but i decided to keep it to myself and occasionally 'cerita' bits and pieces to a few friends.

The story of how i was given a unique Wheel chair(Made in India) in Kaabah itself is a good one.
Maybe i will tell it later in my future postings.
The story of my last day at Mina after the last stoning is also a worthwhile 'cerita'.
My walking in the rain in a makeshift rain coat in Makkah a day before Wukuf is also another story.

On looking back, there can be many interpretations as to why it all happened.

Even my doa at Arafah is also another 'cerita'because i was too shy to ask for anything more because, in my opinion i have been given more than enough thus far,which does not commensurate with the deeds that i have done.
My doa was just to say 'Thank you' to Allah Taala with a bits of doa for HIM to grant me anything that He wishes to give, because obviously, HE knows what is in my heart.

Hence my after Hajj has been filled with 'So Many Thoughts'.

Since tomorrow is First Syawal, and having completed 30 days of fasting during Ramadan, i think it is appropriate that i update this blog of mine,so that i can wish the few friends of mine who must have been wondering why i have been dormant for more than 8 months.
As a reminder Raya Haji will be on 17th November 2010.
Maybe i might be inspired to pen my Thoughts as the first anniversary of my Hajj approaches.

Suffice that my wish for everyone is that Allah Taala will grant us another chance to fulfill Ramadan a year from now and that our 30 days of Ramadan will be accepted by HIM.
InsyaAllah.

2355 hrs 9th Sept 2010.